The Swarm

June 18, 2012

The Week In Hate, Special Edition: Chunklet Harnesses the Hate of Youtube's Comment Section...

Alex Koenig (Chunklet)

As “The Week In Hate” typically demonstrates, hate is a potent thing. Hate can get a few heads kicked in, tear apart families, maybe even wipe out an ethnic group or two… but most importantly of all it is one of the core components of the Internet. So when Chunklet was asked to take the reigns of this beloved column we – rather than diving headlong into a series of pithy remarks and petty comebacks [Ed: We hate this already] – elected to probe into what was really sticking in the craw of the people; the average Joe, the masses in the street. But instead of going outside and deciding to actually physically talk to someone, we came to the decision that it would be best to stay at home and watch YouTube. After all, the comment section is the nexus of all Internet hate and unrest. And while you could very well do this yourself, it wouldn’t be recommended without the white rubber gloves of our cool journalistic professionalism.

We begin with Black Flag, simply because they and their fans are often such a cheery lot that finding a tussle in the comment section of one of their videos truly surprised us. The hate begins with a user by the name of LewDude45…

LewDude45: this is why all time low is better

NorrisGeez1986: please educate yourself…

LewDude45: i am educated. this band sucks, he is wearing short shorts

Now the clear lack of punctuation and reference to All Time Low (a band so far off anyone’s radar screen that we can’t even think of a sufficient insult) would indicate that this particular user is one of those Internet trolls and, even though he might be right about those short shorts, successfully gets the blood boiling…

Darrin McFarlain: Are you on crack? If it wasn’t for bands like this punk would have died a long time ago.

MrAaronhovey: punk is dead

Darrin McFarlain: Is it dead because its not on the mainstream? I’m pretty sure its alive and well bud.

TheIllegalKind: all time low is the gayest band to walk the earth nothing is worse than all time low you emo butthole

MrAaronhovey: hardcore punk was NEVER in the mainstream, i’m not saying there aren’t shows going on and music being put out, i’m saying its dead, not the same, never will be

Darrin McFarlain: Its not dead, if there are still hardcore shows being put on. And I know hardcore punk wasn’t in the mainstream, but you said punk is dead. Not hardcore is dead. The Genre is a live and doing well, just have to look.

forward300: all time low? that band is a fucking joke lol what a terrible example of a band better than black flag. they are an obsolete fucking speck in comparison. non-existent next to the unstoppable force that is Black Flag. Seriously man, how could you have fucked up so bad?

My my, in just one sweep we have quite the sampling of web bickerings as well as the poor grammar, numerous spelling errors and excessive profanity that are the hallmarks of the Internet commentariat. Let’s move onto a related video, which contains quite a bit of hate in and of itself…

Here Henry Rollins accosts a group of “hipsters” and manages (as impeccably as ever) to be both right and fundamentally wrong at the same time. (If they really wanted to make him mad, they could have just recited the spoken word portions of Family Man.) So essentially, Rollins reveals himself to be the big, loud, and secretly terribly insecure blunt instrument he’s always been. To the peanut gallery!

seymoresaymore: Dear Henry, from one old punker to another, you are one insufferable prick. You sound like those old men who put down punk rock back in the day, thinking they were all dropouts and calling the music “unlistenable shit”. How quickly you forget. This is like you wearing a Sonics shirt and having Gerry Roslie come up and berate you. It must be said, Black Flag were OK, but Husker Du, Minutemen, and Meat Puppets blew them out of the water. Because they didn’t sound like everyone else.

auggie87: Henry Rollins = Dane Cook of Punk Rock

mblader2k3: He just hates hipsters, and their ego bullshit and everything else. Remember this is a guy who has 30 years of unadulterated anger and punk rock fuming through his veins. Im sure Danzig has the same attitude

MrGreycharles: Hipsters have one thing in common: They’re all pussies.

And speaking of pussies, let’s move onto another band not far removed from the last in that the term “hipster” is bandied about frequently in reference to them –and Henry Rollins probably doesn’t like them.

(Get ready to void the bile you’ve been accumulating while reading this article, because things will, for a moment, get positively lovey-dovey…)

AmericanGirlDolls: Love is caused by a chemical reaction in your brain. It’s the connection we feel towards one another. There are many different types of love – family, friends, and lovers. Many say that your first love isn’t true, or real, but I beg to differ. It’s just a strong emotion two people share, and if anything your first love should be the truest of all. It’s pure.

Real love is when you love someone and your life doesn’t mind, and even if it did, nothing would break you apart from that person.

And then we have the prompt retort…

nylonbazooka: throw yourself down a well please

Then things proceed to get oddly Biblical…

IKillGoliath: God stepped down from his throne in Heaven, and came to rescue me and you, By dying on the cross, that you and i, may have eternal Life, with him forever: Jesus said “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. the John 10:10 .The theif in these verses is the Devil showing he is real and an enemy to the truth i have shared with you.

And as if once wasn’t enough, in reply to 101ohok’s fairly astute remark that “No one cares”...

IKillGoliath: Those in Hell do! Thats not to make you scared, but to wake you up , He Rose From The Dead do you think he will not return, when he says he will! Will you care then but then it will be to late.Wake up! or his return with thunder and lightning and the Archangels voice will, wake you up. REVELATION 19: 11–16 google it.The Gospel of Luke if you care, even though he doesn’t.

In fact, IKillGoliath’s seemingly random missionary journey via the YouTube comment section almost makes you fail to notice the second highest comment:

FajitaSoldier: Like This if you’ve come searching this because of The Good Wife!

Okay, let’s get a little more focused and turn to something a touch more gentle…

Who knew that Skrewdriver’s “classic” “White Power” would ruffle so many feathers. Here are the comments, out of context and out of order as if that matters…

GAMINGgrungey: Its not that fucking racist, you moronic fuck-tard. All its about is giving more control back to the whites due to the crimes commited by the blacks, and the unfair treatment towards whites. Trust me when I say that the whole ‘Hate Crime’ Idea, was fucking retarded because if a black hits a white guy he just gets charged for assault. If a white hits a black he gets charged for a hate crime and thats even more of an offense…Your ignorance is bollocks.

misfitsmama: Amen, Reverse descrimination!

feeldanny13: Im a spic and I condone this message.

GodHatesNaziFags: Immigrants are taking your jobs and fucking your wives, girlfriends and daughters!!  HARD! While you are at the bar pissing and moaning about a WHITE GENOCIDE (mass suicide) FACT!

alopez3202: Kill the spics, burn the jews. White power, white power (robin william’s voice)

Let’s turn our attention to a more domestic source for our right-wing hate speech. Now if you were to guess that a relatively harmless live performance of “Cat Scratch Fever” from 1978 would be a conduit for a lively political discussion then perhaps you are a bit more learned and cynical than a large bulk of the Chunklet staff…

DEC0Y0CT0PUS: America hasnt sucked for the last 232 years. Its just started sucking when we’ve started electing politicians instead of military figures to office. A politician is the rat of the world. Why are you arguing with me anyway? You call me stupid then you still struggle to compete with any of my statements. All you can say is basically “how can you expect the PRESIDENT to fix the US when other presidents have come before him” I dont know what you think his job is but its to fix the US. He’s failed.

vlamaypab: You shouldn’t flatter yourself, like the rest of conservative bullshitters you don’t see reality. I have 500 spaces to say what I need to and you have never dealt with those who messed this country up, only one who hasn’t fixed it. Then you speak lewdly and when I respond to that bullshit you try to be intelligent. However like FOX you are unbalanced because you don’t believe truth in history just repeating what YOU say over and over to be true. USA reaping what they’ve sown prior to Obama

butuh13: Ted says if Obama is re-elected then this time next year he’ll be “dead or in jail” Well consider me a one issue voter! Four more years!!!

Xalena831: Who the Hell cares.. I love his music.. and his right.. don’t touch my guns.

And, as if Neil Young with severe brain damage and the previous “dialogue” wasn’t gun toting or patriotic enough for you, let’s end with the most patriotic-est song to ever grace our proud American airwaves (and quite possibly the only YouTube comment section with rhetoric so dubious)…

What a slideshow! It’s the ultimate song for wearing your jingoism on your sleeve. At this point the song has become so obvious a punchline that our poking fun at it any further would only make us look bad… so let us have the commenters play us out. And as a final note, it would really help the ambiance if you let the song play while you read the comments…

Thescreensaverr: 1617 Democrats disliked this.

sharksldw: EVERYONE is a sinner and while the USA may not have done the best things, I must say a one thing. Like Lee Greenwood, I, Lee Wood, am proud to be an American, and I am looking forward to serving my country in the United States Air Force or the United States Navy. THIS IS THE BEST COUNTRY ON EARTH! One last thing. GOD BLESS EVERYONE ON THIS EARTH!!!

888777888x: Who’s ready for WW3? CIA, MI6, & Mossad are directing armed groups to carry out massacres inside Syria. GOD BLESS HUMANITY!

Adam19822000: Anyone that doesn’t like America can suck my balls

CorThunder1: I don’t care if you don’t believe in God or even a religon. If you think that this song is un-patriotic, offesive or untrue then go live somewhere else for a change. Mabye Greece, I hear they have a great welfare plan you can leech on.

Mary Williams: ok,2the guys and girls that are saying “usa sucks and where the live is awsome” just shut the fu#! up cuz no country is perfect, and WTF are you doing on this page anyway?! im proud 2 be an american because there r soldiers out there dieing for us, but you guys have 2 be black hearted terrists and complain about it, and dont even get me started about your countries becuase they are not the best either!!!! at least i am not on a page about ur country and if u r against this post, i am right here

That was indeed quite a journey and I don’t know about you but I think we’ve all officially lost faith in humanity collectively. Thank you and good day. [Ed: Only on the…]

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